| Euphoria, I Can't Take Any More Of This, I'm Losing It |
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| Ugh |
[08 Sep 2007|11:59am] |
I just want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore.
I met some great people and I like to hang out with them, but I still really miss home. I don't mind the homework and my classes aren't that crazy. I joined Campus Band and when I have nothing to do I practice in the piano rooms in the basement of my dorm.
I don't like eating alone, so I don't. That severely limits the amount of meals I eat everyday.
I want to go home next weekend, I hope I signed up for the right Sunday so I can. I figured getting a shift on the weekend would be good otherwise I would want to go home every weekend, not that I would, but the want would be there.
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| College |
[01 Sep 2007|11:56am] |
It has been pretty good so far. Generally I was out and about around 9, but today's a game day and everyone seems to have tickets, so that postpones my "out and about"ness.
It's Rebecca's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY eventhough I don't think you have livejournal anymore) and it's my cousin Patty's birthday. I think my other cousin Missy and I are going out to dinner with her. We're going to buy her balloons or something and tie them on her dorm room door.
My window is basically on the first floor (it's actually the 4th floor, don't ask) and I get to be woken up by all the partiers at like 3 and by all the construction trucks at 7. Lovely. My rooms kind of small, but I guess it's okay. I think I'll come home next weekend, I miss my pets.
Well, I think I'm going to go now. I'll try to get a job in the cafeteria.
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| 5 Stages |
[14 Aug 2007|11:44pm] |
DENIAL: Aw, it's probably not broken. Just a fluke, I'll just restart it and it'll be fine. *restarts and nothing happens*
ANGER: It's 3 months old! How could this happen?! Stupid HP! I can't believe this! The screen is just completely blank! #$*&!
BARGAINING: Dear Computer God, please let it turn back on. Please? I promise I'll make sure I update the virus scans frequently. At least once a week? Please?
DEPRESSION: What's the point? Everything dies sooner or later *cries*
ACCEPTANCE: 2-3 weeks? I'll get it back in 2-3 weeks? I can handle this. It will be ready for school.
~~~To be posted later: 5 stages on the 2-3 weeks judgement~~~
But for now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDO3tKtCz0U
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[02 Aug 2007|08:50pm] |
Wow, long time no see.
Well, since the last time I've posted (apparently when I got out of the hospital from the whole ER and OR experience caused by my ovaries haha) I guess a few things have happened.
Graduated.
Went to orientation and scheduled classes.
Changed my schedule when I got home.
Found out my roommate (yesterday).
And...
I went to ER again (two days ago)! I really need to stop doing that, but at least I'm putting our health insurance to good use.
Yeah, it was really weird. I was walking from the bathroom to my room so I could get shower stuff. Then I felt dizzy, then I went to open my door, then I fell against the door but got it open, then I don't remember what happened... Then I was on the floor and I got up to Jason yelling "NICOLE!"
My mom took me to ER because I guess that's not normal... I didn't feel well the next day and I had a bajillion doctor appointments (just two, but one of them got canceled after we got there and they took my blood pressure for the 50th time in two days... 96 over 65! I am not a high stress individual!!!)
The ER doctor (the same one I had last time!) recommended that I get an ultrasound of my heart to see if it's normal. So depending on what my doctor says, that might happen. So far I've had:
EKG
CAT Scan
3 ultrasounds
X-rays
Oh, and they did all these blood tests. It didn't even hurt when the nurse jabbed the needle in me! So either she was really good at it, or my arm has lost feeling around my veins from all the needles jabbed into it!
My mom asked about doing another CAT scan (the one I had was for my first hospital visit) to see if something was wrong with my brain. The doctor said he wouldn't do that because there weren't any symptoms that would make him think something was wrong in my head and because of the extremely high amounts of radiation that are involved in the CAT scan. Umm...
I think I'm going to be pretty radioactive for a while.
Next doctor appointment is Thursday!
But seriously, I don't think I'm that ill. I feel like a hypochondriac, but I'm not, I swear I'm not! I didn't even want to go to the hospital for the passing out thing, I told my mom I didn't want to go, but she made me. I think it was just that I was really tired and it was morning so I didn't have food in my system kind of thing.
Oooo, next week I go for an MRI (to check my brain) and an echocardiogram (to check my heart)!
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[10 Mar 2007|07:05am] |
Ovary status=no longer exploding
Me status=no longer in sharp knife-going-through-me pain but in a more my-whole-body-feels-like-it-fell-off-a-10-story-building pain.
Have not gotten a full nights sleep in 3 days and I'm pretty sure I seemed really out of it when I was talking to Darcy yesterday (sorry Darcy).
Probably won't be in school much, if at all, next week.
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[18 Feb 2007|12:25pm] |
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The computer's acting funny. As in not running programs, showing multiple errors, freezing up. Norton Anitvirus refuses to work even though we know the subscription ends in March... I suggested taking it to the Geek Squad and that's what we're going to do after my dad saves stuff to disks and whatnot. The Geek Squad *sigh*
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| The Perpetual Self |
[02 Jan 2007|10:30pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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Today's nothingness was better than yesterdays.
This break was decent. A few days filled with nothingness *as previously stated*
I don't want school to start again, mostly because I don't want the stress of Flute Chamber, or my solo. I think Flute Choir will be fine, and the quartet will be fun. It's just chamber and my solo...
Oye, took on too much? Nah.
End.
I made another mixed CD today. I've been meaning to make Kristina one. I call it "MIX 1 *smiley face*"... The smiley face is to differentiate it from the other MIX 1's... VOCAB WORD---DIFFERENTIATE---VOCAB WORD
Huh, I miss this, this whole "livejournal" thing. I think being in a good mood makes this funner. I never have much to say in this thing, that's why I went from posting up to twice a day to posting never.
(artist of the song I'm listening to is none other than SUFJAN STEVENS)
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| So Far, My Break Has Been __________ |
[23 Dec 2006|02:29pm] |
Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you have a great break!
I asked for the Sufjan Stevens Christmas album for Christmas, but I don't think I got it. Ah well.
I can't wait until "June 2nd" (which falls on December 28th this time of year). I'm glad my birthday is the title for the gatherings of my friends.
So far, my break has been __________ (fill in the blank with whatever you heart desires)
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[30 Nov 2006|06:40pm] |
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I must purchase the Sufjan Stevens Christmas album :)
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| And I Go On |
[05 Nov 2006|01:11pm] |
Physics is the only class I'm not organized for.
I dislike physics greatly.
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| Deep Thoughts on Live Pt. 3: The Six of Us (myspace excerpt) |
[21 Oct 2006|08:32pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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It's hard to believe that the last game was yesterday. The last time I'll be up there conducting, the last time we'll all be together cheering in the stands, the last time I'll have Alicia run to get me food . Before the game people asked me if I was sad about it, I can't say that I was. It was my time, it was my last game. Everyone goes through it and being sad wouldn't change the fact that it was there. I chose to be happy and it was the happiest I've been. Surrounded by so many people that I love, one last time in full unity. It was so great.
This entry, I've decided, is dedicated to the five people that I was with the most, the five people that I knew I could rely on, the five people that were some of the best friends I could've asked for: Anthony, Sam, Alicia, Andrew, and Jordan. We have had so many inside jokes, starting with the donut hole song about me (which Andrew has not sung or taken part of which makes me happy :) haha ) and Promiscuous. I won't forget staying up late at DM camp with Sam, Jordan, and Alicia talking and getting yelled at that one night, then the next night when Alicia and Jordan went crazy and Sam and I ended up throwing shoes at them. Or how Andrew was in love with Katie, one of the camp counselors. I won't forget Indian running through the rain back to our dorms.
The presents that Alicia, Jordan, and Andrew gave us were wonderful. The letters basically made me cry, the CD made me very sentimental, the pictures and picture frame I will treasure forever, and the teddy bear is wonderful in every way ( it slept on my bed last night haha). Everything is going to go off to college with me, that I know because I never want to forget this. I never want to forget this feeling, I never want to forget this year.
I am so thankful to have experienced this year with those five. It was so different than last year, but in a wonderful way. We have grown so close through the last year it makes me happy, I love them all very much.
So, thank you guys, thank you for everything.
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| We're On A Bridge Charlie! |
[15 Oct 2006|09:09pm] |
Plans for this week include Stomp with Darcy? Right? Thursday or Saturday?
Then on the weekend totally making a "Charlie goes to Candy Mountain" remake with Darcy, Margaret (she's unaware of that right now) and a Liopleurodon.
Tomorrow NHS meeting for execs. after school then hanging with Sam and Anthony to do stuff completely unrelated to presents for the field commanders.
At some point going back to Prestige with my dad because they totally forgot to give me pictures for another outfit... I don't know how they managed that one... If Katie reads this maybe she can look for them :)
My dad leaves for Ohio tomorrow for work. He comes back Tuesday night.
Friday is the last game! It'll be sad, it'll be memorable, but it's time. I feel everything is ready for next year and I'm proud of our accomplishments this year.
I had a dream last night that I was working on my transcription. Oh and I was in this large hotel-like place and near the end I lost my cell phone in water. Long story.
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| The More I Say This Is Me, This Is Who I Am, The More It Sounds Like A Proofread Telegram |
[10 Oct 2006|04:15pm] |
Bah, it's only October. I need to find things to occupy my mind. Quite frankly, I need to be rid of this place.
The flute and piano will occupy some of my time, but I know I need social time. It's the lack of social time that's going to end up killing me.
There's something wrong, and I don't know what it is. I feel like I need to get it all out, but I don't know who to tell.
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| Can You Hear The World's Smallest Violin Playing Just For You? |
[11 Sep 2006|10:42pm] |
Just as easily as they made me feel like a friend, they make me feel like an outcast.
I found so much stuff from 6th, 7th, and 8th grade this weekend! I found the Oprah skit Kristina wrote, and my Star Wars skit to Hansel and Gretel! I also found a Team Twister book, so cool.
I am so grateful for my friends :) I mean, we don't tell each other everything, but we don't need to know everything. We're always there for eachother, always, and we're so open. I love them so much. Today in marching band someone was goofing off and I was just giving them an "evil eye" or as close as I could get to one, then I looked over and Darcy was just smiling so much looking at me, and I couldn't help but to laugh and be happy from then on out.
I annoyed Kristina at lunch today, but I think that was because I was tired and hungry and I kind of just snapped. I enjoy health class so much now, I still don't really talk to anyone, but it's fun just by the diverse classroom.
Band is great too, sitting next to Liz, Angie, Jessica, Christine, and Courtney is so funny, I enjoy it so much.
Off to listen to some more a cappella
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| Violating a 303 |
[20 Aug 2006|10:11pm] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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Well, I'm back and camping was a blast. I got a lot done on Jane Eyre and now I'm addicted to the book.
On a different note.
I returned to it, figuring I should reclaim everything. Not really "reclaim" so much as retrieve. After assembling the important belongings I could carry, I ruminated for a moment. I feel so terrible about the whole situation... I haven't told anyone.
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[15 Aug 2006|08:03pm] |
Okay, the 26th at my house sound good for a homework party? We bring our homework and finish it and help each other with it? Sound good?
RSVP
913-6570
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| My Day At Camp Andrew |
[15 Aug 2006|07:57pm] |
Well, I think I'm assimilated into their group, I think. I feel more comfortable around them now. Before I felt it was a situation where they invited me to things because it would be awkward if I wasn't invited. All the talks of friendship they had before I never felt applied to me, rightfully, I still don't feel they apply to me, but I think I'm a step closer.
I'm glad I sort of participated in the truth or dare portion, though I know truth doesn't really count, haha. Maybe next time a dare?
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[10 Aug 2006|10:22am] |
Okay, some of this math hw is completely confusing me.
For example, is the (f(x+h) - f(x))/h what f(x)= ?
Okay, I propose a math hw partay! Seriously, I need help :(
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[09 Aug 2006|01:14am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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I would just like to comment on the high level of excitement in this picture.
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